"In the midst of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer
"-Albert Camus
Recently I heard a story about a young girl who survived two years of captivity after being raped repeatedly and the only thing flashing across my mind, at that time, was what if that had been me?
My grandmother used to say that where you are born is purely coincidental. At that time I was too young to understand the implications of that simple belief. The horrifying story brought to mind that idea and I was not able to shake off the fear that arose from a nagging question in my mind; the question that is haunting me days after hearing about that young girl: What if I had taken birth in the womb of a mother who was unfortunate enough to be living in a backward, violent home country?
I cannot imagine living a life in fear of stepping out of the boundaries of my home or being scared of having too much of fun or going out for picnics or holidays with my friends- moments and opportunities we take for granted everyday. I do not want to acknowledge a world where a mother has to ignore her child to defeat her rapist’s motives, where she has to depend on luck to escape a cage, where a baby has to grow up with the stigma of being a rape child and all the implications that come with it. I had been living in a world of ignorance where ideas like rape and molestation were just texts in a book or a piece of news to be talked about but never acknowledged as a part of your world but that young girls story told in the form of rules to remember by which a girl can protect her soul when her body is being torn to shreds, broke that dam of illusion for me.
When I stepped outside the bubble of security that my parents had created since the day I was born, for the first time ever I felt what it was like to be afraid and my stomach hurt out of the exertion. Now, in comparison to that teen who was sexually attacked and violated, forced into submission, I feel ashamed of my fear. A fear that I had deemed the worse thing that could happen to anyone, was in fact not even close to a drop in the ocean of pain that that girl and many more like her suffer everyday in the villages of Africa or even India, my own country.
Why am I so special that I was saved from living a life of constant danger? Or am I as free as I think I am. In New Delhi, which is a stone throw away from my hometown, in the first four months of 2008, 228 cases of rape and molestation were filed. In fact, “Rape Capital” is a term by which Delhi is often called. A city that is supposed to be the centre for business, economy, a symbol of a New, modern India, is still riddled with conservative families who have no reservation in burning their ‘bahus’, men who consider themselves a better and stronger sex and will not stop inflicting pain and humiliation on the women around them. Even though there are centers for rape victims, girls and women feel the need to shy away from the world or kill themselves to protect their families or from the shame of it all.
I cannot begin to imagine the pain of being invaded in such a manner and to feel so weak and I hope that I never have to. All I can hope for is a better world where a man is able to feel for and respect the women they interact with. And realize that every time they perceive a girl with contempt and as a toy to play with they are, quite literally, inflicting pain on their mothers and sisters and shackling them little by little.
A/N: The story was heard as a part of the Vagina Monologue that took place in UBC, Vancouver, BC
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Service above Self: My Hope
“Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.”- Albert Einstein.
What Albert Einstein said is so true! Everyone lives but those who do something beyond what a normal does is who actually lives a truly meaningful life. I have heard people comment so many times that a man’s first loyalty and love should be for themselves. But that is something that a human is born with. Yes, many a times that love for yourself is broken and needs to be repaired but speaking for the majority every man is fond of himself. What is self? The person himself with all his pleasures, joy, sorrows, and all emotions constitute the self. We all do services for ourselves and for even that want something in return. Like, if we try to remain healthy it is so that we look good or remain free of pain. This shows that whatever we do is always for something in return, even from our own body. A man is intrinsically selfish but, that is probably because man knows only himself best. Since they are aware about their faults and their good qualities they spend their entire life improving the ‘self’. Continuing on this path, a phase arrives when they become an isolated island and get trapped in the vicious cycle of themselves.
Service above self is moving out of the isolated island, looking beyond and ‘seeing’ other people. The idea of living for yourself is warped. Every man is a part of a huger cosmic design. It is for a human to appreciate his place in the whole world and to find the role he has been bestowed with to play in this blueprint of life. Every man is a link in this long chain and the failure of one man can affect the whole chain of life. Also the work done by one man has an effect on the lives of every man in his vicinity and beyond. This is like when a stone is thrown in a pond and the first ripple creates further ripples in the water. We have to understand that the world is infinitely big. People can use this excuse to rid themselves of the guilt of working just for themselves saying that one man cannot change the world. But, like many atoms make a molecule and many molecules then make nature we humans together make the world. Every man can make a difference and if everyone of us do that all those differences will change the world for the better. ‘ Service above self’ is the only way by which the world will be rid of all the problems we face today and we of the we have found ourselves in.
We humans have lost the ability to understand subtleties! Paulo Coelho has forever preached in his books that Nature is always giving us signs which we are unable to pick up on. Flowers bloom spreading happiness and wonder with the its vibrancy of colours and with soft scents pleasant memories are revived once again. Trees grow providing us with the chief source of energy, oxygen without which human existence would not be possible. Can you imagine a life without tasting the juicy flavours of fruits? Have these miracles of Nature ever asked for a fee for giving us happiness or making us laugh? They have been selfless in their benevolence. But, every little act we perform is entered into our memory data so that in the near future we can extract a reward for the effort. Probably, Nature is the only altruistic being left on this Mother Earth. William Wordsworth has said that Nature is the best teacher and we can learn to ‘care’ from Nature.
While one does have to care for oneself too that should occupy only one-half of ones life. The rest of a person’s life should be spent in living for other people, thinking of other people’s welfare more than ones own, even if it means putting yourself at a disadvantage. Sounds hard? Yes, it does sound hard but really how hard is it to devote a few hours every day thinking beyond oneself. No one can motivate someone to care for other, that has to come from within. It should be pure and devoid of selfish goals.
What Albert Einstein said is so true! Everyone lives but those who do something beyond what a normal does is who actually lives a truly meaningful life. I have heard people comment so many times that a man’s first loyalty and love should be for themselves. But that is something that a human is born with. Yes, many a times that love for yourself is broken and needs to be repaired but speaking for the majority every man is fond of himself. What is self? The person himself with all his pleasures, joy, sorrows, and all emotions constitute the self. We all do services for ourselves and for even that want something in return. Like, if we try to remain healthy it is so that we look good or remain free of pain. This shows that whatever we do is always for something in return, even from our own body. A man is intrinsically selfish but, that is probably because man knows only himself best. Since they are aware about their faults and their good qualities they spend their entire life improving the ‘self’. Continuing on this path, a phase arrives when they become an isolated island and get trapped in the vicious cycle of themselves.
Service above self is moving out of the isolated island, looking beyond and ‘seeing’ other people. The idea of living for yourself is warped. Every man is a part of a huger cosmic design. It is for a human to appreciate his place in the whole world and to find the role he has been bestowed with to play in this blueprint of life. Every man is a link in this long chain and the failure of one man can affect the whole chain of life. Also the work done by one man has an effect on the lives of every man in his vicinity and beyond. This is like when a stone is thrown in a pond and the first ripple creates further ripples in the water. We have to understand that the world is infinitely big. People can use this excuse to rid themselves of the guilt of working just for themselves saying that one man cannot change the world. But, like many atoms make a molecule and many molecules then make nature we humans together make the world. Every man can make a difference and if everyone of us do that all those differences will change the world for the better. ‘ Service above self’ is the only way by which the world will be rid of all the problems we face today and we of the we have found ourselves in.
We humans have lost the ability to understand subtleties! Paulo Coelho has forever preached in his books that Nature is always giving us signs which we are unable to pick up on. Flowers bloom spreading happiness and wonder with the its vibrancy of colours and with soft scents pleasant memories are revived once again. Trees grow providing us with the chief source of energy, oxygen without which human existence would not be possible. Can you imagine a life without tasting the juicy flavours of fruits? Have these miracles of Nature ever asked for a fee for giving us happiness or making us laugh? They have been selfless in their benevolence. But, every little act we perform is entered into our memory data so that in the near future we can extract a reward for the effort. Probably, Nature is the only altruistic being left on this Mother Earth. William Wordsworth has said that Nature is the best teacher and we can learn to ‘care’ from Nature.
While one does have to care for oneself too that should occupy only one-half of ones life. The rest of a person’s life should be spent in living for other people, thinking of other people’s welfare more than ones own, even if it means putting yourself at a disadvantage. Sounds hard? Yes, it does sound hard but really how hard is it to devote a few hours every day thinking beyond oneself. No one can motivate someone to care for other, that has to come from within. It should be pure and devoid of selfish goals.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)